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diane lane

Diane Lane, 48, and Josh Brolin, 45, recently announced they would be ending their eight year marriage. Here’s to hoping she isn’t out of circulation from the dating scene for too long.

The saying goes, when one door closes, another one opens. That is especially true of relationships. So why do we spend so much time grieving the demise of a relationship, rather than reacquainting ourselves with all the things we neglected when in said relationship, like hobbies, friends, and family. It’s after we’ve mourned the breakup, and reconnected with ourselves and others that we finally attempt to tepidly jump back into the dating pool. There’s just one problem, when you’re over a certain age, you don’t have time to waste hiding out, grieving a failed relationship. Now, having never been previously married or divorced, I can’t speak to the demise of a marriage. I can however speak to the lost of relationships that didn’t work out, and in fact dragged on for far too long before meeting it’s inevitable conclusion. Looking back I am amazed at how much time was wasted being in a state of either anger, hurt, or sadness. While those failed relationships caused me emotional hardship, I certainly didn’t help matters with all my, I’m gonna be fine all by myself, self talk. The fact was, I didn’t want to be by myself, I wanted to be in a great relationship with a great guy. So why waste time crying over the guy who definitely was not ever gonna be “the one”.

jennifer-lopez peoplejennifer and casper

Jennifer Lopez, 43, wasted no time after divorcing Marc Anthony, 44. She seized the moment by acting on the mutual attraction between herself and backup dancer Casper Smart, 25, and as they say, kept it moving! It’s not her style to be out of love for longer than a minute.

If there’s one thing I’ve learn about life that always rings true in every circumstance it’s this; much in life is about timing. If I could get back all those weeks, months, even years I spent sitting on the couch watching TV alone on a Saturday night licking my wounds over a failed relationship, I’d definitely take a new approach. Even if I wasn’t going out to find a man per se, I would have gone out just to have fun, mix and mingled and stayed open to what ever came across my path. Going into shut down mood is the last thing you want to do when ultimately your goal is to get into a healthy, happy, stable relationship. It’s after a breakup that you need to remind yourself, now is the time to get aggressive about what I really want in life. I am a believer that there is opportunity waiting at every corner, but you have to leave the house to get there. And if you don’t believe me, just look at JLo.