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Recently I had a phone conversation with a friend who is fast approaching the mid- 30’s mark. As always the subject about dating and relationships popped up. The conversation went something like this:

Her: I really need to get it together, I have all these guys I’m dating, but none of them are doing it for me you know?

Me: What’s wrong with them?

Her: Oh they’re all nice guys, it’s just that well, I don’t know, I just don’t get butterflies over any of them.

Me: Then why date them?

Her: I don’t know, something to do till I meet the right one I guess.

If you are a single woman, longing to be in a steady, healthy relationship and you never seem to be able to get pass 2 or 3 dates with a guy, perhaps the expression, “if it’s not them, maybe it’s me”, applies to you.

As an older, shall we say more seasoned woman, I often look at my younger friends and can’t help but see a younger version of myself. So when I hear stories of dating woes, I instinctively want to do to them what I wish someone had done for me in my young, mindlessly single days—slap me across the face and yell…

Cher gives us a little tough love advice.

If you aren’t taking your love life seriously, I can assure you no guy ever will. How can a woman who says she wants to meet the right guy and one day marry, approach her dating life with the same level of half heart-ed interest that she might reserve for say, picking a new brand of tampons.

If you are in your 20’s and focused on your career, and becoming financially stable, that’s one thing; you should date to have fun. But to be coming round to your mid-30’s without a clue as to how to properly navigate your dating life is well, sad. At this point in your life there are some definite things you should be very clear on. How to not waste time on men you have no real interest in should be clear as a sunny day.

There’s something about turning 30 that seems to accelerate time to warp like speeds, particularly for women. In a blink of an eye you can go from 30 to 35 and in a nano second go from 35 to 39. So why on earth would you want to waste even a moment killing time with just anyone? If you want to be in a real relationship, make time to make dating men of substance a number one priority. Like anything worth having, it will require some work on your part. And if you aren’t ready to do the work, be ready to not reap any substantive results.

Some clichés are true; men are like buses, there’s always another one on its way. But at 35, do you really still want to be waiting on the bus, instead of investing for a nice ride of your own?

Ladies, do you agree or disagree? Please share your thoughts.